Question:
My Offical Diagnosis Is that I suffer from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder — which for me is being a hypocondriac…. Meaning I used to spend weeks thinking I had brain cancer and obsessing over it. Or Hypertrophic Cardiomythopoly —- or Lung Cancer —- the list is long and undesirable for me to duplicate.
that’s indicative of panic, i’m thinkin’. the obsessive fears of death or disease can be translated into hypochondria. I had gotten over the OCD about 2 years ago though, but the hypocondriac tendencies are still mild and ignite these anxiety’s in me. It sounds like panic, but to me It remains logical moreso that it is a terminal illness and that I will die if I go on this trip.
depends on where yer goin. if yer goin’ to muh ex’es house, you may pray you’ll die on that trip. I’D FRIGGIN’ PRAY WITH YA !!!!! The neat thing is, I am so educated in medical jargon I could perhaps qualify as a doctor right now, as I have spent many hours and weeks studying medical diseases and such..
sometimes an over-abundance of info can be detremental. information overload, especially when it’s never real consistent can cause panic/anxiety/hypochondria… i mean if you get a mega-amount of info on the male anatomy, yer up for candidacy for a sex change ! …. and if ya knew what was in tha air yer breathin???? omg, you’d turn inta michael jackson with a surgical mask, fa real … and if ya knew what all touched money? and WHO ALL? you’d never need’ah wallet…. and if ya knew what strippers in canada did with rolls’ah quarters???? (well, you’d never enter an arcade again, that much i can guarantee ya.) so maybe remove yourself from the international superhighway where TMI is available with’ah click of a button… go listen ta Johnny Mathis or sumthin. Ya as for the trip, Im just going to take a paper bag and some tranxene with me and hope for the best. I have 3 days to relax and Im not going to think about it.
where you gettin’ tranxene????? and fa real, don’t smoke weed. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh send us yer picture. YER’AH SUPERSTAR, I TELL YA ! oh yeah, and stay away from girls… REMAIN THA VIRGIN THAT YOU don’t say another worddddddddddd… ::coverin’ ears:: i cannot HEARRRR lalalalalalalalla ~tanya
Response:
"that’s such crap, but it works for me, but i’m a goober." a) it works for you b) it’s an excellent illustration of a VERY important thing to know, particularly for a young person to know. And that is this: YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR THOUGHTS. Gary
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I thought I was doing better, but now I’ve had a relapse of my "anxiety" and whats worse is, Im thinking Im starting to become housebound. housebound like how? you can’t leave your house or you feel uncomfortable leaving for certain events? or do you feel anxious leaving the house no matter what the circumstance? sometimes when i’m feeling agoraphobic i’ll make myself believe that my house is outside and the box i’m in is a holding cell in jail, and i can’t wait ta get out of it and outside inta my house. that’s such crap, but it works for me, but i’m a goober. Since school stopped (im in high school) HUH?????? ok.. you should definitely stay in tha house. FOREVER 17-18 year olds, they’re few and far between but y’all scare me. (i have this theory that your skills are gonna speed up technology to the if yer cute, ta boot, i’m ::sayin’ a prayer:: for yer Mom and Dad, cuz they must have’ah tough road ta hoe.. i have no kids, and i KNOW if i had’ah i’d have this fluent, smart, good lookin’ son or daughter (much like yerself) that would basicically drive me to the brink of insanity with worry. i’d be hidin’ in bushes and stalkin’ ya… THANK THE LAWD I AIN’T YER MOM ! The last week was really stressful for me, not that I dont care about taking finals, but that on the very first final I took I felt like I was going to die. maybe because they’re called "finals"? it seems so…. like… FINAL ! I feel so depleted (possible panic attack?) I felt so dizzy and out of breath and sweaty and all that good stuff that I eventually had the flight or fight response i ain’t no expert, but that’s panic, babycakes. (in tanya’s world) Ever since then, now on christmas break its like my anxiety or whatever has totally relapsed I feel fine or semi-fine when im in the house- but whenever I leave I get that feeling like Im going to pass out and am teetering between being conscience and so forth. ahhhhhh, seems you may’ve moved from panic attacks to the realm of panic disorder, which, as i understand it, is not only frequent panic attacks within a … 3 month, i think, period, and becoming "fearful" of your next one. help me out here, y’all ! is that right? I am fairly sure I suffer from Hyperventilation syndrome, almost to an 80% degree, I feel better when I breath into a bag and so forth its just that I dunno…Could these symptoms I’ve been having (Not from the finals but from leaving the house) be a serious illness? yes. it’s bird flu. seriously, do you smoke? you say you hyperventilate. is this something that naturally occurs or do you motivate breathing in hopes of alleviation of the feelings? have you told your parents about this, assuming you live at home? have you discussed this with a physician ? i’m assuming you don’t have a psychiatrist/psychologist,therapist or you’d have mentioned it. correct? are you a social person? got’ah girlfriend? do you find this manifestation something you participate in hiding? if so? from who? and why. do you feel kinda like an outcast… as if you’re alone in these feelings? (by the way, i say "feeling", for lack of a better term), the symptoms are very real, although they’re by definition asymptomatic, it just slap don’t feel that way. i’m gonna assume yer 18. when did these "very succinctly described" feelings pertaining to specific incidences which you speak of with uncanny acceptence when pin-pointing them start to occur? how did you gain all this perspective at your age? is this prevelent in school or whassup? do either of your parent exhibit the same physical reactions to similar situations? i’m a tad amazed. i guess either times, they are’ah changin’ drastically or you’re just one "in touch" kid ! (shit, i was just findin’ out what gotcha pregnant when i was yer age) so bear with me ! how’d you find this forum?????? sumbody smack me in ta tha semi-new millenium. can i adopt you? Whats worse is that we are leaving this saturday on a plane to go visit our relatives, and I have no idea how Im going to survive this ordeal— well ya ain’t gotta sit in tha back seat, thank GOD ! and bring a DVD player or a wireless laptop… and whatever ya do….. DO NOT EAT THA PRETZELS WHEN THEY GIVE EM OUT ! from what i understand, that’s a ploy ta dictate when ya eat them pretzels and them cute flight attendants are not allowed to dictate when ya eat yer pretzels. SAVE EM FOR LATER, BE A REBEL ! i will guarantee ya this: anticipation is the culprit, once yer on that plane, you’ve given up control and you’ll relax. and just KNOW tha pilot and tha co-pilot have as much ta lose as you do and they ain’t pullin’ no maneuvers that’ll risk a thang that could imposition them from gettin’ from point A ta point "home to their families". have ya thought of a mild medication to gain some relief? maybe askin’ your parents to take you to a doctor that is well-versed in child psychology? okokok.. yer nada child… but still. I mean I can barely leave the house without feeling like Im going to pass out— Leaving for an entire week — being stuck on a plane …. Im just so overwhelmed its not even funny — I probably will pass out and that will be the end of it.. yes, you ARE gonna pass out and the end is inevitible. JUST NOT THIS YEAR. breathing techniques are your friend, sounds goofy, but whad’ah difference, if done properly. the truth is… yer gonna laff about how ya feel now as opposed to how ya really feel after the anticipation is behind ya. what works for me is ta talk about it, even with a sense’ah humor. humor depletes a ton’ah stuff. i dunno where yer goin’, but you should definitely plan on gettin’ a tattoo. or yer tongue pierced. actually, i dunno crap about this stuff except i’ve been dealin’ with it for 20 years, ever since i smoked some weed after 14 years of smokin’ like a big dawg and THAT was tha catalyst that paved tha way for my panic which manifested itself every few years until i got older. don’t smoke weed or do "X" or ANY drugs that’ll give you an illusion of "being out’ah control"…. and ask the experts in here, i just wanted ta talk to ya and tell ya kinda my way of coping with stuff. Gary and Elliott and Philip and some’ah the chicks in here are like GODS of this stuff, so don’t listen ta me, i’m just tha piano player. xoxoxoxo ~tanya
Response:
Confession cleans the soul and if that don’t work a person at least gets out of the house. ;^)
yer sayin’ ya don’t do housecalls????? what kind’ah pope ARE ya ???? Pray Harder!
STOP THAT ! ya could be motivatin’ sexual fantasies whilst spendin’ "special time" with tha "big dude" in young kids. ~tttttttttaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnyyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh
Response:
Well, Tanya. Sorry that *you* are irritating *yourself*.
why? i’m a masochist. i indulge in self-flaggeltion also. but i’m happy ya discerned *who* was irritatin’ *myself*… (since i’m sittin’ here wimme and ain’t capable’ah doin’ what yer capable’ah doin’ in another part’ah tha world.) The reality is my co-anxious that life isn’t infinite.
is that’ah sentence? ya mean "the reality is my co-anxious life isn’t FINITE?" hep me out heah, bruthah-man ! Should I find myself with your weapon of choice poised at my head. I can leave this planet
why ya leavin’? ya just got here ! (i never said i was pullin’ tha trigger).. but i love yer savin’ me tha trouble of figgerin’ out tha endin’ to muh story, saves me tha trouble. knowing what I did to have a life that provided me with some peace and contentment.
can’t ya just know it now like i do? i mean… ya can’t take it with ya !!!!!!! (that knowledge, i mean.) Now, keep in mind, I’m likely to defend myself, so the plan may backfire.
i hope ya find’ah soft place ta fall…. (what tha FUCK’s he talkin’ about???) I thought this was a support group. I merely offered that there are other means of thinking.
nah, it’s a "let misinformation, contradictory information from loose Are you this abuse in all your posts?
that’s your perception that i’m abusive. it’s YOUR choice ta look at my posts in’ah hurtful light. i ain’t responsible for how stuff lands on ya tho. perhaps you’ve become accustomed to abuse in some shape, form or fashion. being a victim of abuse generally leads to perceptions of abuse in forms that weren’t at all intended to be abusive. most victims tend to find abuse wherever they can find it. and victims tend to become abusers. Victims tend to become abusers,
well ain’t we just tha shit. we think so much alike, i’m thinkin’ we’re twins seperated at birth. I’ve often heard.
listen ta everything.. (but be careful whacha hear)… <wink ~t
Response:
Well, Tanya. Sorry that *you* are irritating *yourself*. The reality is my co-anxious that life isn’t infinite. Should I find myself with your weapon of choice poised at my head. I can leave this planet knowing what I did to have a life that provided me with some peace and contentment. Now, keep in mind, I’m likely to defend myself, so the plan may backfire. I thought this was a support group. I merely offered that there are other means of thinking. Are you this abuse in all your posts? Victims tend to become abusers, I’ve often heard.
Response:
I love a little hostility, Tanya. Bring it on!
OOPS ! a tad’ah projection there’n ::bzzzzz:: yer wrong. i ain’t hostile.. you’d know if i was hostile cuz i start scourin’ tha neighborhood for kids’n steal their dubble bubblicious bubble gum’n pop rocks. (thank god i don’t get hostile often. they beat me up.) Well, let’s just take one situation — the rape. Shit happens. Life happens. I can be miserable forever that something crappy happened to someone I care about. Or, I can medicate myself, damage my body, approach addiction, whine, stomp, throw things, or any number of actions. Or, I can do something about. I can change the situation. I can change the situation so it doesn’t happen to someone else. I can do something so that it doesn’t happen to me. I can also accept that there wasn’t a guarantee for happiness handed out with every clipping of an umbilical cord. To experience happines also means that sometimes the shit also goes along with it.
cool… so yer sayin’ acceptance squelches yer emotions? personally, i accept many things i don’t like, ain’t a fan of, or even like. acceptance in my world don’t at ALL mean i gotta be a cheerleader for all i accept. i even accept the sadness that goes with the pain of watching my friends and loved ones suffer. i shed many tears. <gasp… and still accept. i ain’t gonna let acceptance dictate the showing of emotion… emotions were dealt to me by nature, to avoid them would be to fuck with nature… and everybody that eats butter The euphoria of many of these meds is sometimes preferable to reality.
couldja get me sum’ah them? i’m on one med, and i get NO euphoric value from it. what tha fuck’m i doin wrong here???? However, most people prefer the non-benzo’s and other families for the emotional numbing. yer projecting aginnnnnnnnnnnn !!!!!!! benzos don’t numb my emotions … not even close !
… and this is comin’ from one that chooses "acceptance" as emotional numbing ! I’m only suggesting that there are choices.
i’ve been SCAHHHH-REAMMMMMMMIN’ THAT FER HOW LONG NOW???? but YOU don’t need choices. YOU gots CONTROL ! PS. I used to take my meds with warm or hot water. It cuts down the blood absorption time.
HOW yanno that? you got way lotsa free time on yer hands. why not make yerself useful’n go hug’ah tree or sumthin. they like that. Chat with me when sober or stoned.
as opposed to? ::lookin’ all confuzzuled now:: okkkkkkkie dokie… lemme know when yer what.. sober or stoned, i’ll chat with ya then. :-/ ~t
Response:
Not at all. CBT teaches one to choose different thoughts and beliefs. Contextaul psychology suggest that language itself is the issue. Try 5 minutes with no thoughts — anxiety vanishes. No drugs. No pain.
Confession cleans the soul and if that don’t work a person at least gets out of the house. ;^) Pray Harder!
Response:
I love a little hostility, Tanya. Bring it on! Well, let’s just take one situation — the rape. Shit happens. Life happens. I can be miserable forever that something crappy happened to someone I care about. Or, I can medicate myself, damage my body, approach addiction, whine, stomp, throw things, or any number of actions. Or, I can do something about. I can change the situation. I can change the situation so it doesn’t happen to someone else. I can do something so that it doesn’t happen to me. I can also accept that there wasn’t a guarantee for happiness handed out with every clipping of an umbilical cord. To experience happines also means that sometimes the shit also goes along with it. The euphoria of many of these meds is sometimes preferable to reality. However, most people prefer the non-benzo’s and other families for the emotional numbing. I’m only suggesting that there are choices. PS. I used to take my meds with warm or hot water. It cuts down the blood absorption time. Chat with me when sober or stoned.
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I think there is simple linguistic alteration that we can make in your statement to demonstrate my point, or that of the contextualists. A simple change of ONE word and the experience is altered. that is to say: I still _need_ medication. I still _want_ medication. I still _choose_ medication. I still _desire_ medication. As the contextualists will argue, a simple choice of words — language is the essence of suffering. I am more precise in my choice of language these days. My emotions and thought states are reflective of those choices. I leave it as an option, that at any time in the future, I have a medical history that would allow me to choose medication. For the next few years, I am choosing to do without medication.
will ya send me yer morphine drip when yer layin’ up’n a hospital bed sufferin’ like’ah big bitch after a train runs inta yer car? i’d be much ah’bliged. I am choosing to accept that sometimes I enjoy making myself anxious.
did it take all this introspection ta know ya enjoy jerkin’ off? why bother all that acceptin’ and choosin’ shit? you got CONTROL ! use it. As to your point re: therapy. Hmmm? My "method" doesn’t involve anything related to Freud, CBT, Adler, Jung, or any traditional psychoherapeutic techniques.
yeah, them people didn’t employ "findin’ yer way thru guilt" techniques…. yer so right on. As a logical issue, if I can choose to think about X and feel anxious and I can choose to think about Y and feel happy (or any other thought and corresponding emotional state), I then have the ability to cause any emotional and thought state for myself while I am conscious.
….so when yer mom or sister’s raped by 4 thugs in’ah dark alley, and yer best friend’s embryo’s cut out’ah her body by’ah few drunken sociopaths…DON’T WORRY ! BE HAPPY ! … and please.. LEMME KNOW HOW THAT’S WORKIN’ FOR YA WHEN THA TIME COMES, k? ~tanya ::weavin’ her handbasket NOW::
Response:
Not at all, Philip. I am anxious because I worry. I worry because I enjoy anxiety. It was a bitter pill to swallow that I actually enjoyed the state of anxiety,
c’mere.. lemme hold a .380 to yer head… (i love ta indulge folk in what they enjoy tha most).. .yer an idiot. however, it also means that I have immense control over when I worry, how I worry, and on what I worry about.
correction: you ALLOW that shit. you don’t control it. control ain’t an option. does that mean that if i come to terms with… say… knowin’ i enjoy smokin’ KRACKKKK KOKAINEEEE…. that i have immense control over it? does "kiddin’ yerself" bring ya enjoyment also? (just curious.) I’ve been though every med and treatment known to mankind.
why? ta cure yerself of this enjoyment over which you have immense control? (is that’ah paradox or a dichotomy…. i ferget.) well, it’s bullshit… that’s an easy one… so there ya have it. The human mind is entirely controllable
yes, so if anyone has’ah stroke out there, it’s yer own fault.. ya didn’t control it. <eyeroll x infinity and when one chooses to change their thinking (CBT) and chooses when to think (ACT) then they have an aresenal of tools against something which was, until recently, a curse.
ya just said it.. it’s choice… which has nada… zip… zilch… zero.. goose-egg… NUTHIN.. ta do with control.. that is yer free lesson in what’s what… courtesy of tanya.. (thank me later, or i have’ah pay-pal account in ya care ta make’ah donation) If I could only find a way to sell this on my resume — worries well, worries independently, worries ad nauseum…
why ya gotta "find a way"? YOU gots control.. go control tha sell’ah THAT shit that dreams’re made of. yer irritatin’ me. ~t
Response:
I am using the reply feature of google. Sorry if it isn’t up to snuff.
click on the ‘hide options’ link at the beginning of the post yer responding to, then click on the "Reply" button that comes up there. you’ll have the whole post in yer reply box’n you can delete, add to, etc.. whacha want… whatever. o you think you enjoy anxiety while experiencing it or as a concept? If you have so much control over your worries you can also just stop worrying — no *secondary gain* — not be anxious anymore — be *cured*. I don’t buy into this reasoning and it’s not clear to me how it heps you if it does. I’ll leaving the labelling up to you — treated, cured, managed, etc.
…now thass’ah funny one… mr/ms.. "control" label dude/dudette ! As to your initial question, as I stated, it was a bit uncomfortable to acknowledge, but I do like feeling anxious. I create anxiety for myself quite often over the course of the day. After all, what type of a person would I be if I enjoyed making myself anxious? (Again, I’ll leave the labelling up to you.)
ya done labelled for him.. "uncomfortable", "anxious", and NOW yer beggin’ a label via "what type of a person"… YET AGIN, A PARADOX ! WHICH IS NOW CONSISTENT WITH YER POSTS ! (i’m sure ya think it’s all intellectual tho… cuz ya obviously ain’t got tha good sense god gave’ah pissant to look at and SEE that whatchur sayin’ holds NO water. you are truly your best advocate to ignore your own words, thought process, or mysticism… whatever that stuff yer spewin’ is…. i dunno, wouldn’t wanna LABEL it ! I think you are right on the mark thought when you write about "buy in". That’s exactly what the issue. is It is difficult for any of us to beleive that we might actually enjoy the anxiety that experience. Or, that we have direct control over it.
why is it difficult? do ya have some sort’ah judgment regarding enjoying anxiety or anything else, for that matter? does it "mean something" that you enjoy something that some of us find "debilitating?". i personally find enjoyment in seein’ folks eyeballs poked out with an ice pick. some find that reprehensible. does that mean i have immense control over that? or do i merely accept it. if ya have tha judgement you seem ta be presentin’, why not exert that CONTROL ya have such’ah wealth of and decide NOT ta participate in that which you obviously feel a tad guilty about? oh, could you please control tha lottery? in MY favor? i feel’ah need ta retire. After all, whose anxiety it is? Mine Who creates it? Well, I guess that leaves *me*.
that was so fuckin’ dumb, i hate ta respond. ok.. ::sinkin WAY fuckin’ low:: to an exemplary: Whose ‘ birthmark ‘ is it? Yours. Who created it? Well, i guess that leave *you* insert yer own "stuff" in lieu of ‘birthmark’ for your personal viewing pleasure. please realize that even tho your ‘existence here’ is YOURS, you also ‘created’ it… so yer parents fucked like rabbits fer nuthin’… man, i bet they’ll be pissed off ta hear THAT ! As I mentioned, and in being in Emerg. I can escalate my heart rate to approximately 165 beats per minute and through simple thought
so can anyone…. it’s called "mental masturbation".. YA THINK YER SPECIAL? i think about Gary nekkid and i’m borderin’ on tha 200 mark ! — no medication — reduce the anxiety so that the rate is around 135 beats per minute.
could you reduce muh weight? i’d be so indebted. oh, and while yer at it… by’ah simple thought, turn yer hair blue. and make yer feet 2 sizes smaller, stop breathing completely and live on… stop eating and "control" the bodily urge ta die after a few weeks, and stop drinkin’ water… i’m impatient. ya die faster without water, so indulge me, k? In terms of preferences, we can call it a disorder, however, I prefer to acknowledge that I am a professional worrier. Its a skill.
how much that pay now’ah’days? a skill is learned. why’d ya bother with’ah learnin’ process? afterall… you ARE in control… ya could’ah just willed it. do you EVER get laid? i mean…do people actually fuck yer dumb ass? please.. i’m very intrigued, and curious, ta boot… (i simply can’t control that impulse, i’m inferior ta you.) As to the polar opposite — calmness — it follows the same reasoning and outcome. (Frankly though, as I did a few times today, I find calmness boring and created a bit of excitement and anxiety for myself.)
have ya ever thought’ah gettin’ out’ah tha house and doin sumthin’ excitin’… or is "creatin’ it in yer mind" more practical? and COST EFFECTIVE ! yeahhhhhh, baby ! My only complaint is that there are other disciplines in science other than what the medical profession or pharmaceutical companies provide.
why you complainin’? it ain’t got shit ta do with YOU… yer tha CONTROL GURU, reMEMBER? Personally, I think results speak for themselves. I was housebound for nearly ten years. I now work full time and have returned to university.
(NUTTTTTTTT gunna say it, wouldn’t be prudent at this juncture.) ::sittin’ on hands:: I’m merely advocating that there are other options.
who needs options? WHEN THERE’S IMMENSE CONTROL???? create yer own world out’ah yer own power to control, options are now unnecessary obstacles. FREE AT LASTTTTTTTTTT, free at last. A doctor with "cured" patients is a poor doctor.
"poor’.. "cured"??? oh, tha labels….. A pharmaceutical with "cured" individuals is a poor company with dissatisfied stockholders.
LABEL STOCK IS RISIN’ .. (its’ah bull market out there, yanno… ) merely suggest that systems are self-sustaining. Just as an automaker who makes a car that will last a life time evenually goes broke and closes.
but not if YER tha automaker, white boy/gurl… YOU GOT CONTROL OVER GOIN’ BROKE ! I hope you won’t protest too much to an alternative perspective.
don’t project. it ain’t tha perspective i’m protestin’, it’s tha blatant idiocy inherent within. ’alternative’ is merely la catchword to legitimize yer profound retardation.. here…. here’s yer helmet.. now giddyup’n getchur ass on that short bus’n lick that window ! (make mama proud.) ~t
Response:
I think there is simple linguistic alteration that we can make in your statement to demonstrate my point, or that of the contextualists. A simple change of ONE word and the experience is altered. that is to say: I still _need_ medication. I still _want_ medication. I still _choose_ medication. I still _desire_ medication. As the contextualists will argue, a simple choice of words — language is the essence of suffering. I am more precise in my choice of language these days. My emotions and thought states are reflective of those choices. I leave it as an option, that at any time in the future, I have a medical history that would allow me to choose medication. For the next few years, I am choosing to do without medication. I am choosing to accept that sometimes I enjoy making myself anxious. As to your point re: therapy. Hmmm? My "method" doesn’t involve anything related to Freud, CBT, Adler, Jung, or any traditional psychoherapeutic techniques. As a logical issue, if I can choose to think about X and feel anxious and I can choose to think about Y and feel happy (or any other thought and corresponding emotional state), I then have the ability to cause any emotional and thought state for myself while I am conscious.
Response:
Not at all. CBT teaches one to choose different thoughts and beliefs. Contextaul psychology suggest that language itself is the issue. Try 5 minutes with no thoughts — anxiety vanishes. No drugs. No pain.
uhhhhhhh, scuze me fer livin’… but if we could do that we wouldn’t be here. ya sound a LOT like my friends and family used to.. ."used to" bein tha operative words there. "JUST PUT IT OUT OF YOUR MIND, YOU DON’T NEED DRUGS, IT’S ALL IN YER HEAD, YER LETTING THIS CRAP CONTROL YOU , ETC." "welllllllllll, guess what, family’n friends… STOP TAKIN’ YER BLOOD PRESSURE MEDS, DIABETES MEDS, AND SIT THA FUCK DOWN, SHUT THA FUCK UP’R GET THAT FUCK UP OUT’AH MUH GRILL !" they don’t say that ta me anymore…. (ever since we stopped speaking.) HAHAHAHAHA to indicate that this disorder is that easily managed is insulting. i say go cut yer leg off, try 5 minutes with no thoughts, no drugs, and employ a BELIEFFFFFFF system.. yer leg’ll grow right on back. .. and please.. LEMME KNOW HOW THAT WORKED FOR YA ! ~tanya (a fuckin’ bitch from hell)… so don’t bother tellin’ me, rhetoric makes me vomit.
Response:
Not at all, Philip. I am anxious because I worry. I worry because I enjoy anxiety. It was a bitter pill to swallow that I actually enjoyed the state of anxiety, however, it also means that I have immense control over when I worry, how I worry, and on what I worry about.
Do you think you enjoy anxiety while experiencing it or as a concept? If you have so much control over your worries you can also just stop worrying — no *secondary gain* — not be anxious anymore — be *cured*. I don’t buy into this reasoning and it’s not clear to me how it heps you if it does. I’ve been though every med and treatment known to mankind.
That’s saying a lot. The human mind is entirely controllable and when one chooses to change their thinking (CBT) and chooses when to think (ACT) then they have an aresenal of tools against something which was, until recently, a curse.
You mean that you *are* actually cured? Or has therapy enabled you to *manage* your disorder better (as is the case with me – and I still need medication too). Philip (please *quote*, my friend 
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text –
Response:
I am using the reply feature of google. Sorry if it isn’t up to snuff. o you think you enjoy anxiety while experiencing it or as a concept? If you have so much control over your worries you can also just stop worrying — no *secondary gain* — not be anxious anymore — be *cured*. I don’t buy into this reasoning and it’s not clear to me how it heps you if it does. I’ll leaving the labelling up to you — treated, cured, managed, etc. As to your initial question, as I stated, it was a bit uncomfortable to acknowledge, but I do like feeling anxious. I create anxiety for myself quite often over the course of the day. After all, what type of a person would I be if I enjoyed making myself anxious? (Again, I’ll leave the labelling up to you.) I think you are right on the mark thought when you write about "buy in". That’s exactly what the issue. is It is difficult for any of us to beleive that we might actually enjoy the anxiety that experience. Or, that we have direct control over it. After all, whose anxiety it is? Mine Who creates it? Well, I guess that leaves *me*. As I mentioned, and in being in Emerg. I can escalate my heart rate to approximately 165 beats per minute and through simple thought — no medication — reduce the anxiety so that the rate is around 135 beats per minute. In terms of preferences, we can call it a disorder, however, I prefer to acknowledge that I am a professional worrier. Its a skill. As to the polar opposite — calmness — it follows the same reasoning and outcome. (Frankly though, as I did a few times today, I find calmness boring and created a bit of excitement and anxiety for myself.) My only complaint is that there are other disciplines in science other than what the medical profession or pharmaceutical companies provide. Personally, I think results speak for themselves. I was housebound for nearly ten years. I now work full time and have returned to university. I’m merely advocating that there are other options. A doctor with "cured" patients is a poor doctor. A pharmaceutical with "cured" individuals is a poor company with dissatisfied stockholders. I merely suggest that systems are self-sustaining. Just as an automaker who makes a car that will last a life time evenually goes broke and closes. I hope you won’t protest too much to an alternative perspective.
Response:
Not at all. CBT teaches one to choose different thoughts and beliefs. Contextaul psychology suggest that language itself is the issue. Try 5 minutes with no thoughts — anxiety vanishes. No drugs. No pain.
Response:
Not at all. CBT teaches one to choose different thoughts and beliefs. Contextaul psychology suggest that language itself is the issue.
Thoughts and beliefs are expressed in language. Try 5 minutes with no thoughts — anxiety vanishes. No drugs. No pain.
Ah…now I see what you mean. *No thoughts* is of course what *meditation* teaches us too. I am very fond of the idea but in practice it’s very difficult to realize, especially for people with anxiety disorders, as it seems. But it is definitely worth pursuing (or, er…*not* pursuing or, really, er….. < (void, no thoughts Philip (please quote the relevant part of the message you’re replying to or risk that people won’t understand your post)
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Not at all, Philip. I am anxious because I worry. I worry because I enjoy anxiety. It was a bitter pill to swallow that I actually enjoyed the state of anxiety, however, it also means that I have immense control over when I worry, how I worry, and on what I worry about. I’ve been though every med and treatment known to mankind. The human mind is entirely controllable and when one chooses to change their thinking (CBT) and chooses when to think (ACT) then they have an aresenal of tools against something which was, until recently, a curse. If I could only find a way to sell this on my resume — worries well, worries independently, worries ad nauseum…
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Not at all, Philip. I am anxious because I worry. I worry because I enjoy anxiety. It was a bitter pill to swallow that I actually enjoyed the state of anxiety, however, it also means that I have immense control over when I worry, how I worry, and on what I worry about. I’ve been though every med and treatment known to mankind. The human mind is entirely controllable and when one chooses to change their thinking (CBT) and chooses when to think (ACT) then they have an aresenal of tools against something which was, until recently, a curse. If I could only find a way to sell this on my resume — worries well, worries independently, worries ad nauseum…
See!? 
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But why bother? There’s an interesting perspective in the emerging therapies where the individual becomes the "observer" of their thoughts versus actually "experiencing" them. Contextual psychology argues, I believe it is them, that language is the source of suffering.
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But why bother? There’s an interesting perspective in the emerging therapies where the individual becomes the "observer" of their thoughts versus actually "experiencing" them. Contextual psychology argues, I believe it is them, that language is the source of suffering.
That’s what CBT teaches. Philip – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text –
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What have your parents said, when you told them of this?
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I thought I was doing better, but now I’ve had a relapse of my "anxiety" and whats worse is, Im thinking Im starting to become housebound.
housebound like how? you can’t leave your house or you feel uncomfortable leaving for certain events? or do you feel anxious leaving the house no matter what the circumstance? sometimes when i’m feeling agoraphobic i’ll make myself believe that my house is outside and the box i’m in is a holding cell in jail, and i can’t wait ta get out of it and outside inta my house. that’s such crap, but it works for me, but i’m a goober. Since school stopped (im in high school)
HUH?????? ok.. you should definitely stay in tha house. FOREVER 17-18 year olds, they’re few and far between but y’all scare me. (i have this theory that your skills are gonna speed up technology to the if yer cute, ta boot, i’m ::sayin’ a prayer:: for yer Mom and Dad, cuz they must have’ah tough road ta hoe.. i have no kids, and i KNOW if i had’ah i’d have this fluent, smart, good lookin’ son or daughter (much like yerself) that would basicically drive me to the brink of insanity with worry. i’d be hidin’ in bushes and stalkin’ ya… THANK THE LAWD I AIN’T YER MOM ! The last week was really stressful for me, not that I dont care about taking finals, but that on the very first final I took I felt like I was going to die.
maybe because they’re called "finals"? it seems so…. like… FINAL ! I feel so depleted (possible panic attack?) I felt so dizzy and out of breath and sweaty and all that good stuff that I eventually had the flight or fight response
i ain’t no expert, but that’s panic, babycakes. (in tanya’s world) Ever since then, now on christmas break its like my anxiety or whatever has totally relapsed I feel fine or semi-fine when im in the house- but whenever I leave I get that feeling like Im going to pass out and am teetering between being conscience and so forth.
ahhhhhh, seems you may’ve moved from panic attacks to the realm of panic disorder, which, as i understand it, is not only frequent panic attacks within a … 3 month, i think, period, and becoming "fearful" of your next one. help me out here, y’all ! is that right? I am fairly sure I suffer from Hyperventilation syndrome, almost to an 80% degree, I feel better when I breath into a bag and so forth its just that I dunno…Could these symptoms I’ve been having (Not from the finals but from leaving the house) be a serious illness?
yes. it’s bird flu. seriously, do you smoke? you say you hyperventilate. is this something that naturally occurs or do you motivate breathing in hopes of alleviation of the feelings? have you told your parents about this, assuming you live at home? have you discussed this with a physician ? i’m assuming you don’t have a psychiatrist/psychologist,therapist or you’d have mentioned it. correct? are you a social person? got’ah girlfriend? do you find this manifestation something you participate in hiding? if so? from who? and why. do you feel kinda like an outcast… as if you’re alone in these feelings? (by the way, i say "feeling", for lack of a better term), the symptoms are very real, although they’re by definition asymptomatic, it just slap don’t feel that way. i’m gonna assume yer 18. when did these "very succinctly described" feelings pertaining to specific incidences which you speak of with uncanny acceptence when pin-pointing them start to occur? how did you gain all this perspective at your age? is this prevelent in school or whassup? do either of your parent exhibit the same physical reactions to similar situations? i’m a tad amazed. i guess either times, they are’ah changin’ drastically or you’re just one "in touch" kid ! (shit, i was just findin’ out what gotcha pregnant when i was yer age) so bear with me ! how’d you find this forum?????? sumbody smack me in ta tha semi-new millenium. can i adopt you? Whats worse is that we are leaving this saturday on a plane to go visit our relatives, and I have no idea how Im going to survive this ordeal—
well ya ain’t gotta sit in tha back seat, thank GOD ! and bring a DVD player or a wireless laptop… and whatever ya do….. DO NOT EAT THA PRETZELS WHEN THEY GIVE EM OUT ! from what i understand, that’s a ploy ta dictate when ya eat them pretzels and them cute flight attendants are not allowed to dictate when ya eat yer pretzels. SAVE EM FOR LATER, BE A REBEL ! i will guarantee ya this: anticipation is the culprit, once yer on that plane, you’ve given up control and you’ll relax. and just KNOW tha pilot and tha co-pilot have as much ta lose as you do and they ain’t pullin’ no maneuvers that’ll risk a thang that could imposition them from gettin’ from point A ta point "home to their families". have ya thought of a mild medication to gain some relief? maybe askin’ your parents to take you to a doctor that is well-versed in child psychology? okokok.. yer nada child… but still. I mean I can barely leave the house without feeling like Im going to pass out— Leaving for an entire week — being stuck on a plane …. Im just so overwhelmed its not even funny — I probably will pass out and that will be the end of it..
yes, you ARE gonna pass out and the end is inevitible. JUST NOT THIS YEAR. breathing techniques are your friend, sounds goofy, but whad’ah difference, if done properly. the truth is… yer gonna laff about how ya feel now as opposed to how ya really feel after the anticipation is behind ya. what works for me is ta talk about it, even with a sense’ah humor. humor depletes a ton’ah stuff. i dunno where yer goin’, but you should definitely plan on gettin’ a tattoo. or yer tongue pierced. actually, i dunno crap about this stuff except i’ve been dealin’ with it for 20 years, ever since i smoked some weed after 14 years of smokin’ like a big dawg and THAT was tha catalyst that paved tha way for my panic which manifested itself every few years until i got older. don’t smoke weed or do "X" or ANY drugs that’ll give you an illusion of "being out’ah control"…. and ask the experts in here, i just wanted ta talk to ya and tell ya kinda my way of coping with stuff. Gary and Elliott and Philip and some’ah the chicks in here are like GODS of this stuff, so don’t listen ta me, i’m just tha piano player. xoxoxoxo ~tanya
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I thought I was doing better, but now I’ve had a relapse of my "anxiety" and whats worse is, Im thinking Im starting to become housebound.
Sorry if you’ve posted before, I haven’t been around for a while so you may have covered this already. I was wondering if you have officially been diagnosed, if so what type of condition? From your post it sounds like you may have some type of anxiety condition with tendencies of agoraphobia starting to develop. If you haven’t already, i’d suggest you get full medical check-up and then if all is clear get a referral to a psychiatrist or psychologist who specialises in anxiety related conditions. Since school stopped (im in high school) The last week was really stressful for me, not that I dont care about taking finals, but that on the very first final I took I felt like I was going to die. I feel so depleted (possible panic attack?) I felt so dizzy and out of breath and sweaty and all that good stuff that I eventually had the flight or fight response
Sounds like you may have had a panic attack. Certainly describes the many I’ve had over the years. Ever since then, now on christmas break its like my anxiety or whatever has totally relapsed I feel fine or semi-fine when im in the house- but whenever I leave I get that feeling like Im going to pass out and am teetering between being conscience and so forth.
If you have panic and/or anxiety condition it often brings up negative thoughts which then can affect our behaviour. Panic attacks are scary and it’s natural not to want to experience another one. For me, after having my first panic attack I didn’t understand what and why this was happening. So naturally all I wanted was to feel safe and the only way to guarantee that was to avoid situations and places where I had the panic attack or could have the panic attack. What if’s then consumed my life and I did go on to develop agoraphobia even though I never became housebound. The fear of having panic attacks was what became my primary concern and often they became a self fullfilling prophecy. I am fairly sure I suffer from Hyperventilation syndrome, almost to an 80% degree, I feel better when I breath into a bag and so forth its just that I dunno…Could these symptoms I’ve been having (Not from the finals but from leaving the house) be a serious illness?
I haven’t heard of hyperventilation syndrome but hyperventilating is a symptom of anxiety/panic. I’m a bit of a hypochondriac which many anxiety sufferers would possibly relate to, so thinking I have some serious illness did often cross my mind. In fact over analysing everything did make me worse. Anxiety can become a very serious illness if left untreated but the first step is to get a diagnosis so you know what you’re dealing with. If it is anxiety, the good news is that these days there are many more doctors and therapists who recognise and know how to treat it, unlike 20 years ago where I was diagnosed with epilepsy by mistake… eventually after 7 years of suffering did I finally get properly diagnoses and did learn to control my condition. Whats worse is that we are leaving this saturday on a plane to go visit our relatives, and I have no idea how Im going to survive this ordeal— I mean I can barely leave the house without feeling like Im going to pass out— Leaving for an entire week — being stuck on a plane …. Im just so overwhelmed its not even funny — I probably will pass out and that will be the end of it..
I really understand your fears but they are irrational from my perspective. For you they are very real and the more you thing of all the negatives the more you will feel overwhelmed with anticipatory anxiety. This is why you have such a strong desire to stay home. You need to break down the trip into smaller steps. First there is the plane trip… what strategies can you use to occupy your mind whilst your in the air? Puzzles are good, writing, talking with family, listening to music… find things you enjoy. Havign trusted people around can help. Also many people find comfort in letting the flight crew know that they have a problem flying, sitting in an aisle seat also could help. Next, spending a week visiting relatives. What plans do you have to keep you busy. Focus on positive images of places and people to see. I know I’m over simplifying it but believe me it really does get better and staying home might feel like the best opion but it will not help long term. Taking a few steps forward even if you take a step back is still moving forward. I know you can do this, and truly understand how difficult it is for you. Find activities that help relax you. Vanesa
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IOW "normal" people use it :) Chip — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm 
> do you best to get away alone for a couple of days to clear your head.